Q:I am a 20 year old FTM i am not out to my family or anyone at all. I have an ex girlfriend who i love and who still loves me. I father her son, but we have just joked about me being his dad even though she doesn't know about me. I use to tell my family as a child i was a boy, but they thought it was phase and always told me otherwise. I want to come out to her and my family, but i just don't know how i would do it or how they would feel about it. How you would approach this?
Hope this helps you!
I must unfortunately bid you all adieu. As you may have noticed recently, I started a blog on Wordpress that is more closely tied to the work I do in person. I have been finding that Tumblr does not serve my blogging needs as it once did, and I spend less and less time using it. I rarely even use my personal account for more than private posts and reblogging the occasional GIF. It’s not fair to represent myself as someone who is available as a resource on Tumblr any longer.
I will answer the questions I received as of 11PM on the east coast of the U.S., and then I will be leaving.
Farewell, goodbye, auf wiedersehen,
The next series of posts will focus on questions I have frequently been asked during workshops and training sessions over the last few years. Â There are questions about sex, coming out, surgery, an…
Up to this point, I’ve focused pretty intently only on talking directly with transgender people in safe spaces and educational settings. Â But what happens when you’re out in “the real world” and ha…
As someone who considers themselves an educator, it seems counter-intuitive to tell people they can’t ask certain questions. Educators are supposed to encourage learning and respectful challenges …
What is Qs About the T?
Qs About the T began as a workshop in 2008, as a means of introducing terminology and subjects related to trans* and gender-variant identities to queer and trans* allies. It has been presented at conferences and colleges as a means of exposing LGBT and queer allies to various issues affecting the trans* community. It has been well received at conferences such as the Long Island GLBT Services Network Conference, Civil Liberties and Public Policy conference, and has reached audiences from New Jersey to Massachusetts.
In an effort to reach a wider audience, I have decided to expand upon the initial workshop and create an internet-based space for discussing the social implications, challenges, and experiences of being transgender or gender-variant in the United States. As it develops, this blog will grow to include resources for allies, as well as a space for answering questions many people have concerning the lives and experiences of trans*-identified individuals. Though I cannot speak for the community as a whole, I am willing to provide answers based on my personal experiences and the knowledge I have accumulated over the years as a community educator.
I am by no means an expert. I simply have a substantial interest in deconstructing stereotypes, unveiling truths, and shedding light on the often misrepresented trans* community. I have dedicated a significant amount of time to issues affecting queerness and gender variance, both academically and socially. Having served as a youth leader, student org leader, and activist in myriad capacities, providing accurate and reliable information is something I value greatly. And as our world dives deeper into the age of the Internet, it’s important for me, for many reasons, to continue working toward normalizing and demystifying the transgender and gender variant community.
For more information on the work I have done in the past, or for information on how I can help you educate others, you may email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Q:I'm a Female-to-Male pre-op transsexual from Florida and no matter how much I research, I can't find information I need. I've got a friend going through hormone replacement therapy in GA right now who says the state no longer requires psychiatric testing beforehand. I'm desperate to know if FL is the same. I'm living in London until the Summer, so I can't go ask around myself. I've been this way since I was 12. I'm 26 now. It hurts to keep being forced to wait. I have to know.
You’re talking about the standards of care, which no longer require individuals to seek counseling and therapy before pursuing medical transition. But that doesn’t mean doctors aren’t continuing to ask their patients to do it. Really it can be hit or miss, it all depends on the doctor.
If you visit LGBTcenters.org, you can search for an LGBT community center or wellness center that should be able to offer safe/reliable resources available in your area. It looks like there are 10 organizations spread out across Florida, so you should be able to find a group that can help you out.
Best of luck, and enjoy the rest of your time in London!
Q:Can you please explain to me what 'queer' means? I've seen it and just haven't quite figured it out. Thank you!
Queer can be many things. Queer can be a gender identity, or it can be a sexual orientation. The word itself means strange, odd, or different. People use queer as an alternative to more definitive labels, or as a way of describing an identity that doesn’t fit neatly into other groups.
Q:I'm confused about where I fit with labels. I don't often use them, but for this I have to in order for people to understand. I was born female and sometimes love it. I like to look extra pretty and stuff. There are other days or weeks or months where I want to be a guy. I want to look like one and pack (I pump, too) and find a way of binding that doesn't trigger a panic attack. Sometimes I feel like a gay guy crushing on a girl. Others like a gay girl crushing on a girl. What do I call this?
I find that, when in doubt, queer works pretty well. If you don’t feel like any other labels fit, or you’re not really sure what label you identify with, queer is a decent alternative. It sure beats explaining yourself to every person who asks your gender/sexuality. It also happens to be how I describe myself, as opposed to FAAB masculine person who dates women. When you say “queer,” it can mean anything other than cisgender and/or heterosexual.